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generallolz

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generallolz

Devious Journal Entry

2 min read
..I lost someone important today. This morning he slipped away in his sleep after having a heart attack. I don’t have a lot to say. I feel so much agony but at the same time nothing at all. I knew he was going to go some day. I just didn’t know it was going to happen so soon. I wish I could have prepared myself for it. I wish I had talked to him more before this. I was so numb, and so scared for him, I couldn’t bring myself to see him..to talk to him, despite how much I pitied him and loved him so much. Even after everything that happened before and after the divorce.I didn’t even know where he was half the time. I haven’t seen him in over a year, or as far as I know. The last time I saw him he looked so old and withered, I was so afraid of having to see that again. So I turned myself off emotionally whenever I thought about him and couldn’t bring myself to reach him no matter how much I missed him. Now, I wish I did, of course. I’m so disgusted with myself.
Dad, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I know I’ve had my times when I was cold to you, and so angry with you, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. Ever. You were the only one of my parents that actually understood me. You were always a role model to me. I always wanted to be tough and casual like you, because I was your daughter. I was your little girl that you adored so much. I adored you too.
I love you, papa. I hope you know that.
I hope I’ll be able to see you again.
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generallolz

please read

2 min read

I have some rather unfortunate news.
On Tuesday, March 24th, I lost someone. A friend of mine, and many others, who was sweet, caring, talented, and beautiful, took her own life. Despite her family’s best efforts to save her, she unfortunately passed away in her sleep. For all I know she left us peacefully. I hope to god she’s in peace now.

It’s times like these in which we need to remind ourselves of those who love us and those who we care for. That the threat of losing someone who is suffering, and fighting their demons is very real, and that the souls who are suffering are much more fragile than you might think. I was reminded of this sobering message when I was informed of my friend’s passing.

Life can be cruel. But life is also so beautiful. As is everyone who is blessing ours with their presence and love. 
It doesn’t take long, to remind those who are struggling that you love them. Even if you can only send a message to that one person who is in so much pain. Remind them that they’re not alone. Give them your love and support, even if they feel they don’t deserve it. Because they do. More than they may think.

Please never forget that you’re loved. And every one of you are special and important in this world. Whatever struggles life may be giving you now will dissipate in time. The pain will lessen little by little each day with the help of others. And with the love and support of those who care for you, it will help make the pain that much weaker, however fast, or slow it may be.

I’m so sorry I can’t quite know what everyone might be going through. Be it mourning or their own personal suffering. All I can say is that You’re all loved, and there are more people in this world who will understand you and care for you than you might think. I know it can be so tiring, and so frightening. And I’m so sorry you’re going through whatever pain you’re in. But please. For yourself, and those who would be heartbroken if they lost you. Don’t give up.

We love you so much.

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generallolz

Hi guys. (psst...come follow me)

1 min read
Just a quick reminder that I still live. Most of my attention has been aimed at my tumblr lately. One of the reasons being that DA tends to make my laptop lag, and it already overheats too quick as it is.

Sooo, if anyone needs me, I'll be over at my Wesker rp blog on tumblr. Feel free to come check it out and follow me~

RP blog here
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generallolz

hmm.

1 min read
No one seems to do any research anymore.
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generallolz

So many things.. so little time

2 min read
Hey guys, I'm just dropping in to show that I'm still alive. Again as before, I wish to apologize for my being so inactive on this site, however concidering the state of my laptop, I won't be able to submit any art until I obliterate what's ailing it. 


THAAAAT and also I've failed to mention that I got a job recently; setting up and stocking the shelves at Target at wee hours in the morning. I start at four am. ..but money is money.

So with those things at hand and also an ask-Wesker blog that I'm trying to keep afloat, there's quite a bit on my plate right now.. Hopefully Once I get this laptop thing cleared, I will be able to get back on track, because I really miss being on here and interacting with you guys and showing you what I've got instore.

But what positive thing I CAN share with you is that while I was away, I've done quite a bit of more art and have a rather full handfull of things to submit once I'm back in the game here. So there's that to look forward to. Keep in faith that I will return fully, my friends and compadres. You haven't gotten rid of me yet.
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